i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
