I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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