I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
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I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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