I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
