drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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