I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
