What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
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I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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