We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
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And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
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He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize