Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
