Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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