No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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