scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
