you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Are my feet made of real feet?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's shark week go big or go home
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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