I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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