I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
