i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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