Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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