She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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