her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
