so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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