you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
