Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
