Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
