Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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