I feel like abortions should bother me more
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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