if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
