dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
