weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
