Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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