i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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