You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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