Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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