i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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