Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
