I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
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Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now