Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.