I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?