This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
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They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
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i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina