I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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