i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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