is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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