idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
