the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
