that's an acceptable place to lick
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
