The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
