he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You made out with two different species that night
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
