my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
