hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
