I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
