dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
