she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Every concussion has its silver lining
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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