So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize