Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
