i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
