I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
