what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
