u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
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My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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