talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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