Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
