Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
