okay pat passed out under dana's car
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
