God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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