Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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