If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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